This is hilariously funny...

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From the recently deceased Sean Lock . . .

“I’ll tell you one thing: I think Nasa killed Michael Jackson. He died the same week as the anniversary of the initial moon landing, of the first moonwalk.
They resent the fact that any time anyone puts ‘moonwalk’ into Google or anything, it comes up with him sliding backwards with a hat on and not the billions they spent going up to do a moonwalk.
They hated that, and they killed him.”

cheers,
Robin.
Simple - rebrand NASA's lunar missions as "Moon Strolls" - there, fixed that for ya :cool:.
 
A good one that blew my mind yesterday.

In France and elsewhere, Coca-cola is critized, saying "33 cl = 8 cubes of sugar". Alternately: the most calorific McDo are worth 900 calories.
Sure, dude.
Except I've just learned that a fucking 250 g baguette is worth 25 (yes, TWENTY FIVE) sugar cubes, or 700 freakkin' calories.
The reason: packed full with white flour / refined flour plus sugar.

This doesn't apply to breads with different flours.

Frack. I was a bread addict and wondered why I grew fatter and fatter those days... damn.
So much for avoiding junk food like the plague.

Refined flour must die and go to hell.
 
A good one that blew my mind yesterday.

In France and elsewhere, Coca-cola is critized, saying "33 cl = 8 cubes of sugar". Alternately: the most calorific McDo are worth 900 calories.
Sure, dude.
Except I've just learned that a fucking 250 g baguette is worth 25 (yes, TWENTY FIVE) sugar cubes, or 700 freakkin' calories.
The reason: packed full with white flour / refined flour plus sugar.

This doesn't apply to breads with different flours.

Frack. I was a bread addict and wondered why I grew fatter and fatter those days... damn.
So much for avoiding junk food like the plague.

Refined flour must die and go to hell.
The three secret formulas of French cuisine: butter, butter and butter.
 
A good one that blew my mind yesterday.

In France and elsewhere, Coca-cola is critized, saying "33 cl = 8 cubes of sugar". Alternately: the most calorific McDo are worth 900 calories.
Sure, dude.
Except I've just learned that a fucking 250 g baguette is worth 25 (yes, TWENTY FIVE) sugar cubes, or 700 freakkin' calories.
The reason: packed full with white flour / refined flour plus sugar.

This doesn't apply to breads with different flours.

Frack. I was a bread addict and wondered why I grew fatter and fatter those days... damn.
So much for avoiding junk food like the plague.

Refined flour must die and go to hell.
The three secret formulas of French cuisine: butter, butter and butter.

Nope: bread, meat, and potatoes. My mom cooking is a case in point.
 
There's a short story by HG Wells, 'The Truth About Pyecraft', about an obese man who discovers a recipe for 'the loss of weight'. Sure enough, he loses weight but as it turns out, it's weight, not volume, and it results in him becoming lighter than air so that he's trapped in his club, bobbing against the ceiling. Eventually he realises that he can sew lead weights into his underwear and resume a 'normal' life. Much of the humour comes from the fact that the narrator considers Pyecraft an insufferable nuisance and his weightlessness yet another annoying quality about him, disturbing the peace and quiet of the club.
 
it's matter of time this would happen...

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A good one that blew my mind yesterday.

In France and elsewhere, Coca-cola is critized, saying "33 cl = 8 cubes of sugar". Alternately: the most calorific McDo are worth 900 calories.
Sure, dude.
Except I've just learned that a fucking 250 g baguette is worth 25 (yes, TWENTY FIVE) sugar cubes, or 700 freakkin' calories.
The reason: packed full with white flour / refined flour plus sugar.

This doesn't apply to breads with different flours.

Frack. I was a bread addict and wondered why I grew fatter and fatter those days... damn.
So much for avoiding junk food like the plague.

Refined flour must die and go to hell.
The three secret formulas of French cuisine: butter, butter and butter.
Here I thought it was If you can catch it, you can eat it...
 
A good one that blew my mind yesterday.

In France and elsewhere, Coca-cola is critized, saying "33 cl = 8 cubes of sugar". Alternately: the most calorific McDo are worth 900 calories.
Sure, dude.
Except I've just learned that a fucking 250 g baguette is worth 25 (yes, TWENTY FIVE) sugar cubes, or 700 freakkin' calories.
The reason: packed full with white flour / refined flour plus sugar.

This doesn't apply to breads with different flours.

Frack. I was a bread addict and wondered why I grew fatter and fatter those days... damn.
So much for avoiding junk food like the plague.

Refined flour must die and go to hell.
The three secret formulas of French cuisine: butter, butter and butter.
Here I thought it was If you can catch it, you can eat it...
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvA5VyAShXw


Crocodile Dundee (1986)
 
The year is 1958. Legendary Résistant, soldier, ultra-highly-decorated Jacques Massu has now rebelled in Algeria, against De Gaulle.


A rather angered De Gaulle summons him and first thing he barks at him

"Alors Massu, toujours aussi CON ?"

Massu immediate answer

"Toujours GAULLISTE, mon Général !"

"So Massu, always the arsehole, I see !
"Always the Gaullist, my General !"
 

What's the matter ? the whole thing is as alien to me as Klingon language and civilization: lightyears distance, Scotty...
It's a Russian thing. The wonderful sport of competitive slapping... Two guys slapping ech other in turns, until one of them falls/falls in a coma/dies of embarassment.
Still better than their M1 Medieval aka knight boxing.
 
There's this old joke (not that funny, really) and many of its variations similar to that picture.

They sent a new type of chainsaw from Moscow to Siberia to test it there. The instructions stated that 200 trees can be felled with it daily.
So Ivan went to the forest, worked all day and felled 150 trees.
"Ivan Ivanovich, that's not enough. You have to try harder tomorrow!"
Ivan cut down 170 trees the next day.
"Ivan Ivanovich, you really have to try harder."
So on the third day again in the forest and he cut down 190 trees.
So they invited an expert from Moscow, who disassembled the saw, inspected it, put it together and set off for the forest. There he started the saw.
Ivan: "Wow, it's buzzing!"
 
There's this old joke (not that funny, really) and many of its variations similar to that picture.

They sent a new type of chainsaw from Moscow to Siberia to test it there. The instructions stated that 200 trees can be felled with it daily.
So Ivan went to the forest, worked all day and felled 150 trees.
"Ivan Ivanovich, that's not enough. You have to try harder tomorrow!"
Ivan cut down 170 trees the next day.
"Ivan Ivanovich, you really have to try harder."
So on the third day again in the forest and he cut down 190 trees.
So they invited an expert from Moscow, who disassembled the saw, inspected it, put it together and set off for the forest. There he started the saw.
Ivan: "Wow, it's buzzing!"
In my country the guy in the mountains is a Basque.
 
I have no idea what happen to that guy afterwards...

img_20210803_072524prk8c.jpg
When they gave the saw to this guy nobody told him that it worked with an engine, he was using it for several weeks in a conventional way until someone told him how to activate it, but he was not very precise.
Don't worry, it's just for manscaping...
 
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View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHI3vqNo7sk


watch the embedded video in that one here: The ending is hillarious!

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoxhDk-hwuo
 
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