• Hi Guest! Forum rules have been updated. All users please read here.

This is hilariously funny...

Rhinocrates

ACCESS: Secret
Joined
Sep 26, 2006
Messages
383
Reaction score
444
Of the Roman emperors, Vespasian was one of the good, sane, and capable ones. He was also known for his earthy wit. Even on his deathbed he was making wisecracks about his own mortality. The jokes do require a bit of context...

Emperors were worshipped as gods in conquered lands, but the Romans considered themselves too sophisticated to declare an emperor divine until after death. Hence, on learning that his illness was terminal, 'Oh damn, I think I'm about to become a god.'

Excepting Augustus, all of his predecessors had been assassinated or committed suicide, so his last words were, 'Help me up, an emperor should die standing.'

It didn't stop there. In Roman funerals, it was customary to have an actor imitate the deceased. In this case it was a comedian who asked what the event cost and when told, replied, 'Keep the deposit and pitch the body in the Tiber!'
 

GTX

All hail the God of Frustration!!!
Senior Member
Joined
Apr 15, 2006
Messages
3,180
Reaction score
869
Website
beyondthesprues.com
SpaceLaserwithCardandPin-nocaribiner_670x670.jpg
 

Archibald

ACCESS: Above Top Secret
Senior Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2006
Messages
5,142
Reaction score
3,027
Q-anon sounds like "cul à nonne" which exactly means "a nun ass". It is also a delicious french pastry.

Every time I heard of Q-anon, I'm thinking of that scene from Les visiteurs.

Listen carefully at 0:03 - 0:04 and also at 0:11

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcpipeIcAn0

"Buvez pas ça messire ! ça va vous transformer en crapaud ou en bouc ou en CUL DE NONNE"

"Don't drink that, master ! That may turn you into a toad, a ram, or into a nun's ass !"

So don't read Q-anon siliness. You may be changed into a toad, a ram, a nun ass, or a horned shaman.

ROTFL
 
Last edited:

Justo Miranda

ACCESS: Top Secret
Senior Member
Joined
Dec 2, 2007
Messages
4,705
Reaction score
3,177
Website
www.amazon.com
Q-anon sounds like "cul à nonne" which exactly means "a nun ass". It is also a delicious french pastry.

Every time I heard of Q-anon, I'm thinking of that scene from Les visiteurs.

Listen carefully at 0:03 - 0:04 and also at 0:11

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcpipeIcAn0

"Buvez pas ça messire ! ça va vous transformer en crapaud ou en bouc ou en CUL DE NONNE"

"Don't drink that, master ! That may turn you into a toad, a ram, or into a nun's ass !"

So don't read Q-anon siliness. You may be changed into a toad, a ram, a nun ass, or a horned shaman.

ROTFL
Hi
 

Attachments

  • 004.jpg
    004.jpg
    497.3 KB · Views: 37

Justo Miranda

ACCESS: Top Secret
Senior Member
Joined
Dec 2, 2007
Messages
4,705
Reaction score
3,177
Website
www.amazon.com
Best take on Hitler and Time travel
Is the Love, Death & Robots episode Alternate History
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfBKHBYLGns
Perhaps the simplest way to neutralize him would be to bribe the academy director of Akademie der bildenden Künste Wien to admit him, perhaps he would have ended up in Paris painting the Sacré-Coeur. Even if we had not reached the Moon, it would not have been necessary to ban Concorde flights, or criminalize nuclear power or fracking. Communism would have collapsed on its own without producing so many millions of victims, and the media and universities would have to live off their jobs.
 

Archibald

ACCESS: Above Top Secret
Senior Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2006
Messages
5,142
Reaction score
3,027
Got a good laugh reading that one.

The word or string "ass" may be replaced by "butt", resulting in "clbuttic" for "classic" and "buttbuttinate" for "assassinate"

  • In October 2004, it was reported that the Horniman Museum in London was failing to receive some of its e-mail because filters mistakenly treated its name as a version of the words horny man. Horny is a common slang term for "sexually aroused or arousing".[21]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scunthorpe_problem#cite_note-21
  • Problems can occur with the words socialism, socialist, and specialist because they contain the substring Cialis. Blocking of the word specialist is liable to block emailed résumés and curricula vitarum and other material including job descriptions.[22]

  • Residents of Penistone in South Yorkshire have had e-mails blocked because the town's name includes the substring penis.[30]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scunthorpe_problem#cite_note-30
  • Lightwater in Surrey suffered similarly because its name contains the substring twat.

  • Residents of Clitheroe (Lancashire, England) have been repeatedly inconvenienced because their town's name includes the substring clit, which is short for "clitoris".[31]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scunthorpe_problem#cite_note-31
  • Résumés containing references to graduating with Latin honors such as cum laude, summa cum laude, and magna cum laude have been blocked by spam filters because of inclusion of the word cum, which is Latin for with (in this usage), but is sometimes used as slang for semen or ejaculation in English usage.[32]
 

Archibald

ACCESS: Above Top Secret
Senior Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2006
Messages
5,142
Reaction score
3,027
In February 2004 in Scotland, Craig Cockburn reported that he was unable to use his surname (pronounced "Coburn") with Hotmail.
:eek:
Separately he had problems with his workplace email because his job title, software specialist, contained the substring Cialis, an erectile dysfunction medication commonly included in spam e-mails.
:eek::eek:
Hotmail initially told him to spell his name C0ckburn (with a zero instead of the letter "o") but later reversed the ban.[5] In 2010, he had a similar problem registering on the BBC website, where again the first four characters of his surname caused a problem for the content filter.[6]

LMAO. That's really one hell of an unfortunate person.

The most startling person to ever been named COCKBURN is, obviously, Olivia Wilde.

Olivia Wilde - only watching her makes your cock burn.

Enough said...

In August 2018, Natalie Weiner reported on social media that she was unable to create an account for herself on a website, because her last name is also a word used as slang for penis. It was reported that "hundreds" of people replied saying this affected them as well.
How about Antony Weiner ? At least HE deserved his name LMAO.
Names of those replying included Ben Schmuck (last name is a Yiddish word for "penis"),
Biggus Diggus, anybody ? ROTFL
and Arun Dikshit (last name is Sanskrit for one who teaches or provides knowledge, containing the substring shit).[9][10][11]
a round, dick shit ? oh boy...
Articles covering this stated that it was a common and extremely difficult technical problem for which no robust solution was currently available.[9]

One very stupid example straight out MS Word (how surprising !)

- "Airbus" becoming "abri bus" that is: bus shelter (facepalm)

And some others...

George Walker Bush
becoming
"buisson marcheur de George"
something like
"George has a bush that can walk" or "George's walking bush"

"Are you a fan of Mickael Jackson"

"Etes vous un ventilateur de Mickael Jackson" that is "are you Mickael Jackson wind blower"
> fan & fan-atic, but unfortunately - ventilateur & fan-atique...
 
Last edited:

Archibald

ACCESS: Above Top Secret
Senior Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2006
Messages
5,142
Reaction score
3,027
Yeah. And in France are the towns of EU, HOUILLES, MOLLES and MONCUQ whose mayors are always... pissed-off
judge by yourself
- Le maire d'Eu = le merdeux = "little shit"
- Le Maire d'Houilles = merdouille = shitty
- Le Maire de Moncuq = merde mon cul (shit my arse)
- Le Maire de Molles = merde molle = soft shit.

-Seem there is a town named "Asse" in Belgium, his mayor thus joins the list as a "merdasse" (shitty).
 
Last edited:

galgot

ACCESS: Top Secret
Senior Member
Joined
Jul 6, 2006
Messages
1,096
Reaction score
1,418
Website
galgot.com
Yeah. And in France are the towns of EU, HOUILLES, MOLLES and MONCUQ whose mayors are always... pissed-off
judge by yourself
- Le maire d'Eu = le merdeux = "little shit"
- Le Maire d'Houilles = merdouille = shitty
- Le Maire de Moncuq = merde mon cul (shit my arse)
- Le Maire de Molles = merde molle = soft shit.

-Seem there is a town named "Asse" in Belgium, his mayor thus joins the list as a "merdasse" (shitty).
Well maybe (likely) what i posted is completely made up...
I've never been in h... Sorry , ERBUM to verify.
 

Richard N

Lost in the Sky
Senior Member
Joined
Jun 18, 2009
Messages
637
Reaction score
542
There's this chain of gas stations in the US Midwest: https://www.kumandgo.com/

 

Attachments

  • kumandgo.jpg
    kumandgo.jpg
    385.5 KB · Views: 2
  • Kum_&_Go_logo.svg.png
    Kum_&_Go_logo.svg.png
    89.6 KB · Views: 3

Archibald

ACCESS: Above Top Secret
Senior Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2006
Messages
5,142
Reaction score
3,027
If you move just one letter from ANDY WEIR (the Martian author) it become "any weird".
(runs for cover. I red Artemis last week - pretty good novel).

[11:49] JPL: You're cleared to start drilling.

[12:07] WATNEY: That's what she said.

[12:25] JPL: Seriously, Mark? Seriously?

That joke would also work in French, although with a little twist.

"Mark, tu peut forer."

"Je peut fourrer ? c'est ce qu'elle me disent toutes." (fourrer = to stuff).
 
Last edited:

Archibald

ACCESS: Above Top Secret
Senior Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2006
Messages
5,142
Reaction score
3,027
You may have noted I have a weird taste for silly play on words including people names. Even more crossed between french and english.
...
I've just browsed Google and found there are people with the name Peter Trefford / Trefort / Trefford.
I wish them never living in France. Because that sounds like "peter tres fort" which means "to fart very loudly".
...
( now I got hidding below a granite rock)


"j'aimes péter très fort" oh gosh... !
 
Last edited:

Arjen

It's turtles all the way down
Senior Member
Joined
Nov 6, 2010
Messages
2,806
Reaction score
677
Try this site for a good laugh or three...
The sign--maker is trying to be understood, in a language foreign to her/him. Now consider the monolingual fraction of anglophones...
 

Archibald

ACCESS: Above Top Secret
Senior Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2006
Messages
5,142
Reaction score
3,027
Of the Roman emperors, Vespasian was one of the good, sane, and capable ones. He was also known for his earthy wit. Even on his deathbed he was making wisecracks about his own mortality. The jokes do require a bit of context...

Emperors were worshipped as gods in conquered lands, but the Romans considered themselves too sophisticated to declare an emperor divine until after death. Hence, on learning that his illness was terminal, 'Oh damn, I think I'm about to become a god.'

Excepting Augustus, all of his predecessors had been assassinated or committed suicide, so his last words were, 'Help me up, an emperor should die standing.'

It didn't stop there. In Roman funerals, it was customary to have an actor imitate the deceased. In this case it was a comedian who asked what the event cost and when told, replied, 'Keep the deposit and pitch the body in the Tiber!'

And on top of that, a Vespasienne is... a toilet. No kidding. And yes, it is related to that very Roman Emperor.

 

galgot

ACCESS: Top Secret
Senior Member
Joined
Jul 6, 2006
Messages
1,096
Reaction score
1,418
Website
galgot.com
Hmmm. How much deeper and crasser is this thread going to go ?
Mmmhh... careful, don't play with my dirty mind , could take this as a challenge... :D

Just kidding Dan_inbox, sorry if anything I posted offended you.
I'll try to be more careful from now on.
 

Archibald

ACCESS: Above Top Secret
Senior Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2006
Messages
5,142
Reaction score
3,027
Mmmhh... careful, don't play with my dirty mind , could take this as a challenge...

My philosophy, too. There is also the option of *ignoring* or *not reading*...
 

Similar threads

Top