I've joined the Illuminati. Limitless power in the palm of my hand...

"From beyond" sounds like a crypto scheme these days.

I don't know whether the theme of secret societies acquiring members through chance recruitment has ever been properly explored in fiction. Wouldn't be that different from prosperity theology where all one's fortunes are ascribed to direct and personal providence. You know, the same kind of circular logic that underlay basically every absolute (emphasis on "B" and "S" there) monarchy.

Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do, we do
Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do, we do
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do, we do
Who robs cavefish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do, we do

The Stonecutters' Song
Songwriters: Alf Clausen / John Swartzwelder
The Simpsons, "Homer the Great", S6E12
Jan 8, 1995

Quite catchy, in fact.

Bewarned before taking up on the offer though. On ample evidence "endless riches, fame and power" don't really seem to jibe with freedom or enlightenment. Not in the long term anyway.
 
All I ever get is suggestions for a larger front and a Brazillian rear. My ex gets suggestions of increased male longth/width and more plum-age.

Must not be gender negative though, must we?
 
Secret projects or secret societies, there's some Jan Van Helsing here, I'd rather stick to SPF.
 
Question: if we are already members of the Trilateral Commission, can we still join the Illuminati, or do we have to choose between them? Because tri-lat (as we in the commission call it) meets every third Wednesday of the month, and we only really need to be there for the bi-monthly concurrence meetings, so it’s not actually taking up that much time.

I’d ask the same question for the Bilderberg Group… except nobody wants those dorks harshing the vibe, amirite? Boo-yah!
 
This seems like the perfect time to renew my request for one million dollars. No strings attached. But, you're in luck this year. With tariffs and inflation in view, I'll settle for $750,000 dollars. No Bitcoin. Must be USD.

Send to:

Ed West
Anywhere
USA
 
A request for money from those who have joined the Illuminati. Limitless power and all that.
 
edwest4 said:
This seems like the perfect time to renew my request for one million dollars. No strings attached. But, you're in luck this year. With tariffs and inflation in view, I'll settle for $750,000 dollars. No Bitcoin. Must be USD.
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Number Two: Don't you think we should ask for *more* than a million dollars? A million dollars isn't exactly a lot of money these days.
EdWest: Really? That's a lot of money.
 
It would pay the energy bill with a little pocket change left over.
 
Nobody invites me to anything
 

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The Illuminati are passé. I want to be a member of the Tyrannical Hegemonic Executive Y[redacted]. We're always hearing about what THEY are doing or don't want you to know about.
 
I just found secret video footage of their meetings...

giphy.gif
 
Rhinocrates said:
The Illuminati are passé. I want to be a member of the Tyrannical Hegemonic Executive Y[redacted]. We're always hearing about what THEY are doing or don't want you to know about.
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Keep me in the loop, please, if you can. Also, do you have any pointers on how to score an invite for the next Bohemian Grove brouhaha shindig? My ticket must have gotten lost in the Bilderberg mailbox...
 
The Illuminati

The great secret society is best known in history. It was created on May 1, 1776, and spoke out against the abuses of power by states, and they were strong advocates of women's education and gender equality.

Now there is no evidence that this society continues to exist today, but they have always been linked to some historical moments of great relevance such as the fall of Napoleon, the victory of Barak Obama in the United States or the assassination of John F. Kennedy.

It has always been said of them that they are popularly known within high society and that they used mental power techniques in their organization.

In recent years, even though there is no evidence that the organization continues to exist as such, singers and artists of international stature such as Lady Gaga, Kanye West, Will Smith or Taylor Swift have been linked to these secret societies of the Illuminati.
 

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The Illuminat? Pffffft !!! I've created my own secret society that's betterer.

But I can't tell you what it's called :)
 
Lucifer created all these secret societies to free the world from the ultimate scoundrels. He succeeds in this.
All of them, completely smeared in their own filth, will go to the place of Redemption.
 
paralay said:
Lucifer created all these secret societies to free the world from the ultimate scoundrels. He succeeds in this.
All of them, completely smeared in their own filth, will go to the place of Redemption.
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Lucifer created jobs that are filled when the former holder dies, a Gestalt organism is immortal, like the politburo or the Roman senate... they don't die, they just change their name.
 
This is a good time to see the latest product of Kubrick's sick mind again.
 

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Justo Miranda said:
In recent years, even though there is no evidence that the organization continues to exist as such, singers and artists of international stature such as Lady Gaga, Kanye West, Will Smith or Taylor Swift have been linked to these secret societies of the Illuminati.
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Man, if the Illuminati have stooped to admitting Kanye West ( or whatever his name is this week) then times must be tough!
 
scautomoton said:
Man, if the Illuminati have stooped to admitting Kanye West ( or whatever his name is this week) then times must be tough!
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Well, membership in secret societies is way down...

associationsnow.com

Secret or Not, Membership Groups Face Common Problems | Associations Now

The story of a secret society's quest for growth is illustrates the fundamental challenges facing any membership group—young or old, private or open.
associationsnow.com associationsnow.com

Membership Decline is a Worrying Trend Among Service Groups Like the Masons – Impact Lab

www.impactlab.com www.impactlab.com

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/b48wpb/why_dont_men_join_secret_societies_anymore
View: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/b48wpb/why_dont_men_join_secret_societies_anymore/?rdt=41906

It's no secret that secret societies just can't get people to join them like in the good old days... :rolleyes:
 
No, no, no. That's fake news. Membership is stable. But "they" don't want you to know that.

* I cannot confirm or deny this :)
 
edwest4 said:
No, no, no. That's fake news. Membership is stable. But "they" don't want you to know that.

* I cannot confirm or deny this :)
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Sounds like the old septuple bluff to me, because they know you know they know you know they know you know they know.....er, you know?
 

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