Furry avatars of doom

GpoYix9XkAANbvm
 
 
Last edited:
OK, there's probably so much backstory to this that the joke isn't funny, but here goes.

First, paleontology is a very exciting field (yes, I'm a nerd), with first the reconceptualisation of dinosaurs as highly energetic progenitors of birds (well, the theropods at least) and then the feathers thing. A more recent issue has been bulk. Dinosaurs have in the past few decades been represented as 'shrink-wrapped' - that is, with skins wrapped around the minimal body tissue that the skeleton would allow. New techniques for estimating body mass, its distribution and volume radically revise suppositions about biomechanics, behaviour and ecology. For example, the biggest tyrannosaurs, which were previously estimated as being less than 10 tonnes may have weighed 12 or even 14 (the Rex in the Jurassic Park films is essentially an emaciated victim of starvation).

So then, what does this have to do with cats? A few years back, the paleontologist Darren Naish got together with paleoartists John Conway and Memo Koseman to publish All Yesterdays. This book took on board new studies of dinosaurs to depict them as real creatures behaving as ordinary animals in their environments rather than shrink-wrapped lizards bellowing in meadows, as had been the convention in paleoart. It was partly satire, and this was demonstrated in an epilogue showing what modern creatures would look like if illustrated according to old conventions - and so, I present the housecat as an alien or far future paleontologist might initially interpret it according to recent conventions.

https://fiction-taxonomy.fandom.com/wiki/Cat_(All_Todays)
The Cat is a vicious, pack-dwelling hunter. This dangerous predator brandished a set of not one, but FIVE switchblade claws on each forefoot.

Its fossils are usually found in the concrete nests of long-limbed, bipedal Humans, suggesting that the killer Cats wandered into their lairs before slaughtering their hapless victims.

Cat_28All_Todays29.jpg
 
Makes sense--dogs being narcs and all.

The tip-off was the cat not sleeping 23 hours a day.

Chihuahuas are better body packers since they are always tweaking anyway--they can't carry much though--thus the hippos.
 

Similar threads

Back
Top Bottom