Australian Animals That Won't Kill You, Ranked (Kotaku)

Grey Havoc

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http://kotaku.com/australian-animals-that-wont-kill-you-ranked-1760686190

;D
 
Australia is the safest continent in the world. Wild animals here are far less lethal than anywhers else, except New Zealand.

It says a lot for the state of the world's "common knowledge" that an inverse belief can be so widespread.
 
I think Bill Bryson had a lot to do with the way Australia's wildlife is portrayed. Quotes from "In a Sunburned Country":

[Australia] is the home of the largest living thing on earth, the Great Barrier Reef, and of the largest monolith, Ayers Rock (or Uluru to use its now-official, more respectful Aboriginal name). It has more things that will kill you than anywhere else. Of the world's ten most poisonous snakes, all are Australian. Five of its creatures - the funnel web spider, box jellyfish, blue-ringed octopus, paralysis tick, and stonefish - are the most lethal of their type in the world. This is a country where even the fluffiest of caterpillars can lay you out with a toxic nip, where seashells will not just sting you but actually sometimes go for you. ... If you are not stung or pronged to death in some unexpected manner, you may be fatally chomped by sharks or crocodiles, or carried helplessly out to sea by irresistible currents, or left to stagger to an unhappy death in the baking outback. It's a tough place.

No one knows, incidentally, why Australia's spiders are so extravagantly toxic; capturing small insects and injecting them with enough poison to drop a horse would appear to be the most literal case of overkill. Still, it does mean that everyone gives them lots of space.

“But don't worry," she continued. "Most snakes don't want to hurt you. If you're out in the bush and a snake comes along, just stop dead and let it slide over your shoes."
This, I decided, was the least-likely-to-be-followed advice I have ever been given.”
 
Abraham Gubler said:
Australia is the safest continent in the world. Wild animals here are far less lethal than anywhers else, except New Zealand.

It says a lot for the state of the world's "common knowledge" that an inverse belief can be so widespread.

I'd still rather have a tiny house spider hiding in my shoe than a pissed off funnel web spider. :eek:
 
Ah...I just drove from Melbourne to Moama N.S.W, and nearly hit two Kangaroo's, a Wombat and a bloody Gala!!
Yeah not all of them are venomous, poisons or going to tare your limbs off. But when driving at 100 km/h, the bloody things will kill you all the same ;D

Regards
Pioneer
 
sferrin said:
Abraham Gubler said:
Australia is the safest continent in the world. Wild animals here are far less lethal than anywhers else, except New Zealand.

It says a lot for the state of the world's "common knowledge" that an inverse belief can be so widespread.

I'd still rather have a tiny house spider hiding in my shoe than a pissed off funnel web spider. :eek:

And I'm more than happy to go camping in a tent where the local wildlife is apexed by a skinny arse dog (the Dingo which isnt even a native animal) rather than a Leonardo raping Grizzly Bear or a family eating Pride of Lions.

Each to their own I guess.
 
Pioneer said:
Ah...I just drove from Melbourne to Moama N.S.W, and nearly hit two Kangaroo's, a Wombat and a bloody Gala!!
Yeah not all of them are venomous, poisons or going to tare your limbs off. But when driving at 100 km/h, the bloody things will kill you all the same ;D

Regards
Pioneer
s

Even in the reverse road kill equation we luck out. Kangaroos are nothing compared to giant Moose or Rhinos or even sacred Cows the rest or the world has to deal with.
 
I've seen pictures of kangaroos, they look like hardened ex-convicts who spent their entire jail sentence lifting weights and crafting shivs. Not exactly what the cartoons portrayed them to be.
 
Colonial-Marine said:
I've seen pictures of kangaroos, they look like hardened ex-convicts who spent their entire jail sentence lifting weights and crafting shivs. Not exactly what the cartoons portrayed them to be.

What? Are you implying this is reality:

30EE897B00000578-3434736-image-a-45_14sd54752932965.jpg


rather than this?

images
 
Abraham Gubler said:
And I'm more than happy to go camping in a tent where the local wildlife is apexed by a skinny arse dog (the Dingo which isnt even a native animal) rather than a Leonardo raping Grizzly Bear or a family eating Pride of Lions.

Each to their own I guess.

There is one, extremely rare, moderately venomous snake in the UK which might bite you if you try hard to annoy it (one guy was recently bitten three times after he picked one up, but survived). The last death from adder bite was in 1975.

Apart from that, you can get stung by wasps or bees, which is not life-threatening unless you're allergic to them (47 people died in the last ten years after going into anaphylactic shock), or even (mildly) by jellyfish. One of the most dangerous natural items is the peanut, which one person dying each year from allergic reaction.

The most dangerous smallish animal in the UK is probably the domestic doggie, your friendly pet killing a couple of people (mostly children) every year. The most dangerous of all is is the humble farm cow - which has crushed or trampled to death 74 people in the last 15 years.
 
Tony Williams said:
Abraham Gubler said:
And I'm more than happy to go camping in a tent where the local wildlife is apexed by a skinny arse dog (the Dingo which isnt even a native animal) rather than a Leonardo raping Grizzly Bear or a family eating Pride of Lions.

Each to their own I guess.

There is one, extremely rare, moderately venomous snake in the UK which might bite you if you try hard to annoy it (one guy was recently bitten three times after he picked one up, but survived). The last death from adder bite was in 1975.

I've seen an adder, when I was a kid, in the South Downs I think. I walked carefully around it.

My new home, New Zealand, is pretty low on threat species.
 
GTX said:
Because that will have been the speed limit ...

Yeesh. 100 km/hr is only 62 mph... which is approximately the speed limit on the little road in front of my house. The speed limit on the highway is 80 mph (about 130 km/hr). And even there, the cops and Californians tend to blow past me like I'm standing still.
 
Orionblamblam said:
GTX said:
Because that will have been the speed limit ...

Yeesh. 100 km/hr is only 62 mph... which is approximately the speed limit on the little road in front of my house. The speed limit on the highway is 80 mph (about 130 km/hr). And even there, the cops and Californians tend to blow past me like I'm standing still.

And how many are killed annually on the roads due to excess speed?

Downunder, we have more than enough idiots who believe they are Formula 1 drivers and have the cars to nearly match those types but lack the skills or the ability to drive them.
 
Abraham Gubler said:
Pioneer said:
Ah...I just drove from Melbourne to Moama N.S.W, and nearly hit two Kangaroo's, a Wombat and a bloody Gala!!
Yeah not all of them are venomous, poisons or going to tare your limbs off. But when driving at 100 km/h, the bloody things will kill you all the same ;D

Regards
Pioneer
s

Even in the reverse road kill equation we luck out. Kangaroos are nothing compared to giant Moose or Rhinos or even sacred Cows the rest or the world has to deal with.

Yeah, good point mate ;)

P.S. the top 'signed' road speed in Australia is 110 km/h. Although up North (Northern Territory) and in the West (Western Australia), its nothing for Road Trains to go a lot faster!!
And they clean up camels, water buffalo and donkey's!!

Regards
Pioneer
 

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Actually we have to thanks several US TV channels and one internet channel for Australia "Deadly" reputation with shows like

"TOP 172 of AUSTRALIA DEADLY ANIMALS"
"Beware of KILLER KOALAS"
"DROP BEARS: ATTACK! OF THE KILLER KOALAS"
"KILLER SHARKS OF AUSTRALIA"
"DEATH ZONE AUSTRALIA OUTBACK"
"ANCIENT ALIENS IN AUTSTRALIA"
"HAUNTING: AUSTRALIA"

i look at you National Geographic, Discovery channel, History channel and Youtube, your are responsible for that...
 
GTX said:
Colonial-Marine said:
I've seen pictures of kangaroos, they look like hardened ex-convicts who spent their entire jail sentence lifting weights and crafting shivs. Not exactly what the cartoons portrayed them to be.

What? Are you implying this is reality:

30EE897B00000578-3434736-image-a-45_14sd54752932965.jpg


rather than this?

images

On the subject of 'roos . . .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIRT7lf8byw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83_ORxgrfL8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFCvPrzj4BU


cheers,
Robin.
 
Kadija_Man said:
A little known event, outside of Australia is when Budgies swarm in outback Australia

They are carnivorous you know. A flock that size can strip a camel to the bone in 30 seconds... :eek:

Forget them there harmless, compare to voraciously mosquitoes swarms of the Tundras (Russia, Alaska, Canada)
they suck you dry of your blood...

 
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Although from Tasmania if cartoons taught me anything this little 'devil' should be spinning like a little tornado

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYmrMK566N8
 
TELEMMGLPICT000182008142_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqqBYMlWmNSsYKmyFVDYjgrWr2O7rYaN2E3BlGvYVemI8.jpeg

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/11/27/220-stone-australian-steer-called-knickers-spared-barbeque-big/
 
Bit puzzled by this. l always thought Australians were proud of their various deadly animals. Hence Crocodile Dundee? A UK equivalent called Friesian Rupert would lack a certain something.
Then there was that chap in the shorts who was never off TV until some deadly Aussie Dover Sole lookalike totaled him.
As for New Zealand a friend of mine introduced me to a cartoon book called Footrot Flats. Those sheep look pretty dangerous compared with ones clumped around England.
 
Drop Bears do exist. I have seen them in the trees outside my house, Downunder. They will drop on children and even adults without warning. Hence the traditional stance by Aborigines, standing on one leg leaning on a Spear held upright to prevent the Drop Bears falling on their heads... ;)
 
It is unusual to see so many Drop Bears so docile and together. The Australian Army is to be commended for having trained them sufficiently as no one else has managed to have more than one drop bear in captivity. I wonder how the world will react when faced by dozens of the beasties in battle?
 
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