Global Warming: What would Bruce Willis do?

uk 75

uk 75

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I woke up this morning to the latest announcement by a leading UK scientist that Global Warming was worse than he thought. As someone who loves Polar Bears as much as TSR2s and Boeing SSTs this is deeply depressing. Sure enough someone from the UN came on to say that teenagers would be crying themselves to sleep after hearing the news.

I dusted myself down and remembered the hammy Bruce Willis pic Armageddon where Bruce and the guys stop an asteroid etc.

Forget whether we caused it or are causing it, cannot be bothered with that political stuff. If there is a real problem, what would Bruce do? Or Gerry Anders
 
“So, Hans... you want to get rid of these European nuclear power stations?”

”Yes, we in the Euro Front for Green Power see them as the epitome of the capitalist environmental-destroying mind set,Mr... ?”

”McCain”

“Even though they provide 50% of Europe’s clean power?”

”A trifle, Mr McCain.”

”And how long to replace them Hans?”

”This is getting tiresome, Mr McCain. We will have the shut down quickly, and there will be no alternative but the EFGP’s plan”

”Over my dead body Hans!”

”That, what is it you Americans say?, will be “a walk in the park”.”

”Not quite right Hans, but I get the sentiment. Anyway, you’ll find me hard to kill”.

”You’ll find me up to the challenge, Mr McCain...”
 
Interesting. The late Alan Rickman would makea fine Hans. Glenn Close as Frau Merkel?
 
More to the point . . .
What would Flash Gordon do ?? :D

cheers,
Robin.
 
Whatever Bruce does, it will have to be against India and China. The planetary total fossil CO2 emissions for 2017 is about 37.1 gigatons, of which China is responsible for 10.3 and India 2.6, the US is on the hook for 5.4, or less than 15% of the total. But while the US is about twice as much as India, the US is flat, and in fact on a slightly decreasing trend; India is on an exponential upwards growth curve and will quickly overtake the US and challenge China.

So Bruce would somehow need to convince the Indians and the Chinese to stop developing in order to save the world. A good "Die Hard" sequel would seem to be one where John McClane is vacationing in Europe, say, and while in the midst of getting caught up in Paris bursting into flames stumbles across the Big Secret: the anti-nuclear activists are not just a bunch of ignorant boobs, but are actually being puppetmastered by former Soviet KGB agents, carrying on a generations-old long con designed to trash the planet so that the Russian Empire can live warm and fat way up north. Since this isn't purely a "Die Hard" movie but part of the wider Bruce Willis cinematic universe, the ghost of his character from Armageddon, aided by the ghost of his character from The Sixth Sense, comes back to lay a smackdown on the anti-nukers who are responsible for fifty years of propaganda and cultural, economic and technological stagnation and reversal.
 
Or, he just smacks a few heads together and invites Arnie for a jig over the bodies......

Well, he does keep saying he'll be back.......
 
Orionblamblam said:
Whatever Bruce does, it will have to be against India and China. The planetary total fossil CO2 emissions for 2017 is about 37.1 gigatons, of which China is responsible for 10.3 and India 2.6, the US is on the hook for 5.4, or less than 15% of the total. But while the US is about twice as much as India, the US is flat, and in fact on a slightly decreasing trend; India is on an exponential upwards growth curve and will quickly overtake the US and challenge China.

So Bruce would somehow need to convince the Indians and the Chinese to stop developing in order to save the world. A good "Die Hard" sequel would seem to be one where John McClane is vacationing in Europe, say, and while in the midst of getting caught up in Paris bursting into flames stumbles across the Big Secret: the anti-nuclear activists are not just a bunch of ignorant boobs, but are actually being puppetmastered by former Soviet KGB agents, carrying on a generations-old long con designed to trash the planet so that the Russian Empire can live warm and fat way up north. Since this isn't purely a "Die Hard" movie but part of the wider Bruce Willis cinematic universe, the ghost of his character from Armageddon, aided by the ghost of his character from The Sixth Sense, comes back to lay a smackdown on the anti-nukers who are responsible for fifty years of propaganda and cultural, economic and technological stagnation and reversal.
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Or stumbles across the real plot (as Bernie Sanders openly said in the Democrat debate) to abort all the third world babies.

Although in movie world it would take the form of a bio-agent introduced into, let’s say vaccines, that causes miscarriages. But in the movie the bio weapon mutates and “becomes airborne” threatening all of humanity.

In the movie the head of the extreme group that created the weapon doesn’t care about all of us eventually dying cause, again, many actual environmental groups have expressed their disgust with humans as a virus that needs eradication.
 
bobbymike said:
Although in movie world it would take the form of a bio-agent introduced into, let’s say vaccines, that causes miscarriages. But in the movie the bio weapon mutates and “becomes airborne” threatening all of humanity.
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Hmmm...

test-blu-ray-moonraker-6-900x520.jpg
 
CJGibson said:
Trigger Yellowstone.
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This might be possible by redirecting a nickel-iron asteroid to an impact. However, Bruce is a Proud American, and dropping such a thing on the Great State of Wyoming? Nah. There are other possibilities. The Toba supervolcano in Indonesia seems a decent option, and there are a surpising number of options in South America. Getting those to go kerblooey might be more effective than a northern hemisphere eruption, as the white reflective ash cloud would cover the southern hemisphere which is mostly dark water. This would reduce the bulk planetary albedo more effectively than an eqivalent northern hemisphere ash cloud.

1280px-Supervolcano_World_Map.png

There's even Mt Doom in New Zealand, apparently.
 
Shading the sun with filters that would be kilometers across. According to the scientists studying the right things, there is no way to predict any side effects, which may add to the problem. So Bruce would have to shut down Chinese coal-fired, smoke belching industry, and then go to India and scare people. Of course, the Chinese military would have to fight back, allowing for many explosions, gunfights and Bruce and company taking on the entire Chinese army. Right now, it would play well... and save the planet.

Or something.
 
Orionblamblam said:
CJGibson said:
Trigger Yellowstone.
Click to expand...

This might be possible by redirecting a nickel-iron asteroid to an impact. However, Bruce is a Proud American, and dropping such a thing on the Great State of Wyoming? Nah. There are other possibilities. The Toba supervolcano in Indonesia seems a decent option, and there are a surpising number of options in South America. Getting those to go kerblooey might be more effective than a northern hemisphere eruption, as the white reflective ash cloud would cover the southern hemisphere which is mostly dark water. This would reduce the bulk planetary albedo more effectively than an eqivalent northern hemisphere ash cloud.

1280px-Supervolcano_World_Map.png

There's even Mt Doom in New Zealand, apparently.
Click to expand...
Wouldn't a Nuclear Winter be easier to arrange ? Kidnap Trump/Putin/Xi, and 'persuade' them to give the order, or hijack a Boomer . . .

cheers,
Robin.
 
GTX said:
Wouldn't a Nuclear Winter be easier to arrange ? Kidnap Trump/Putin/Xi, and 'persuade' them to give the order, or hijack a Boomer . . .
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And there is a Bruce for just that purpose:

the-jackal-lg.jpg


If you want to spark an afternoon of increased sunshine units you probably dont have to kidnap a leader and persuade them to give the launch order. If they're kidnapped they probably *can't* give the launch order. Instead, *whack* said leader and make it clear that the other guy did it (imagine the panic rampaging through the halls of the Kremlin after JFK was assassinated).

A perhaps better approach would be to do somethgin even more war-worthy. A fantastic and fantastically creepifyin' scenario for just such thing is "By Dawn's Early Light." But the efficacy of nuclear winter for the purpose of ending global warming is as yet undemonstrated.
 
Thanks everyone for entering into the spirit of this
Your mention of nukes got me thnking of the original film on which the TV series Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea was based. In the film the atmosphere or something upthere catches fire.In the absence of a Swedish schoolgirl the UN in New York doesnt know what to do, but Seaview fires a nuke at the sky and bingo problem solved.
Alternatively make Morgan Freeman President of the US for life.
Also in50s films there was always one scientist, shades of Einstein, who knew what to do and problem solved by teatime or the US equivalent.
 
Disclaimer:
The mentioned scenarios aren't in any way based on reality, nor do they they reflect any real wishes or demands.
The whole thread is purely satirical and shouldn't be used as a vehicle for any kind of political opinion.
And quotations should always be allocated correctly ....

Right ?
 
GTX said:
GTX said:
Wouldn't a Nuclear Winter be easier to arrange ? Kidnap Trump/Putin/Xi, and 'persuade' them to give the order, or hijack a Boomer . . .
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Err...I never said that.:oops:
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Huh. I honestly have no idea how that happened. But guess what: you are now on the NSA watch list. Huzzah!
 
Jemiba said:
The mentioned scenarios aren't in any way based on reality, nor do they they reflect any real wishes or demands.
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Oh, come on. Who *doesn't* want to spark off a global thermonuclear war, even if just for the pretty sunsets?

Jemiba said:
And quotations should always be allocated correctly ....
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You'd think. You'd think that hitting the "Post reply" button would be pretty bulletproof when it comes to correctly attributing quote. Surprise!
 
uk 75 said:
Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea .... In the film the atmosphere or something upthere catches fire.
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The Van Allen Radiation belts caught fire. Which is a plot point that is a little difficult for the tech advisor to justify.

Alternatively make Morgan Freeman President of the US for life.
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I don't know that that's such a good idea. Morgan Freeman gets anywhere near the White House and comets come crashing down or North Koreans hijack AC-130's and jack up D.C.
 
I vote we give the job to Wallace and Gromit, after all they built a spaceship in a garden shed 30 years ago so must know what they are doing.

As to UK75's original question, lets leave the Gerry Anderson verse out of this. Have you seen the levels of collateral damage International Rescue caused? I remember a funny set of reviews where the reviewer tried to keep tabs on the destruction.
 
Orionblamblam said:
GTX said:
GTX said:
Wouldn't a Nuclear Winter be easier to arrange ? Kidnap Trump/Putin/Xi, and 'persuade' them to give the order, or hijack a Boomer . . .
Click to expand...



Err...I never said that.:oops:
Click to expand...

Huh. I honestly have no idea how that happened. But guess what: you are now on the NSA watch list. Huzzah!
Click to expand...

Terrorism check list:

Trump - check
Nuclear - check
Kidnap - check
Boomer- check and Bonus points

Warm up the stealthawk we are off to collect......
 
Hood said:
I vote we give the job to Wallace and Gromit, after all they built a spaceship in a garden shed 30 years ago so must know what they are doing.
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Elon Musk would be the closest equivalent and he's planning on going to Mars so. . .maybe he knows something?
 
Hood said:
I vote we give the job to Wallace and Gromit, after all they built a spaceship in a garden shed 30 years ago so must know what they are doing.
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That would get my vote having seen the utter mess that the current dimwit politicians have created, I mean, it’s a good job they don’t have access to hydrogen bomb tipped trident missiles otherwise we’re all screwed......... ah hold on....
 
Zootycoon said:
Hood said:
I vote we give the job to Wallace and Gromit, after all they built a spaceship in a garden shed 30 years ago so must know what they are doing.
Click to expand...

That would get my vote having seen the utter mess that the current dimwit politicians have created, I mean, it’s a good job they don’t have access to hydrogen bomb tipped trident missiles otherwise we’re all screwed......... ah hold on....
Click to expand...
I take it you don't realize the mess started clear back during the Bush administration?
 
I think Hood's suggestion of Wallis and Gromit also has the virtue of also making a decent British apocalypse film. The previous effort was called the Day the Earth caught Fire and was filmed largely in the old Daily Express building in Fleet St London.
 
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