This is hilariously funny...
- Thread starter Michel Van
- Start date
-
- Tags
- humor
- Status
Maurice Gamelin saved France in 1914 by helping Joffre with the "miracle on the Marne" that stopped the Germans and prevented them from taking Paris.
Only to sink France in 1940 through his own ineptitude, allowing the germans to seize Paris.
"No miracle on the Marne this time"
"Sic transit gloria mundi"
Only to sink France in 1940 through his own ineptitude, allowing the germans to seize Paris.
"No miracle on the Marne this time"
"Sic transit gloria mundi"
- Joined
- 16 December 2010
- Messages
- 2,837
- Reaction score
- 2,073
Conspirator
CLEARANCE: L5
- Joined
- 14 January 2021
- Messages
- 329
- Reaction score
- 225
Last edited:
- Joined
- 18 June 2009
- Messages
- 1,290
- Reaction score
- 2,102
I don't believe this is real.
View: https://twitter.com/exoticaviation/status/1444747692912123908?s=20
View: https://twitter.com/exoticaviation/status/1444747692912123908?s=20
- Joined
- 13 August 2007
- Messages
- 7,148
- Reaction score
- 6,519
It ain't.
You can tell it's shopped by looking at the fingers. The fingers are out of focus; the book cover is sharp. And some of the pixels around the fingers are a dead giveaway.
Attachments
And there's the little detail that it's actually a photo of has-been semi-celeb "Grimes" reading Karl Marx because she's trying to be a friggen' edgelord.
One blond girl goes shopping. She parks her car and leave. One ugly bastard then rams his car into her car, making a dent into the metal. Because he is a SOB, he just run away.
The blond girl comes back and start whining around.
"Whaaaaat should I do, oh gosh, my car is broken and I don't know what do ... somebody help..."
A mischievous brat decides to have some fun with the silly girl.
He tells her
"I know how to repair you car !
"Reaaaally ? it would be so wonderful from you.
"My pleasure. Just blow into the exhaust pipe and, somewhat like a balloon, the car will inflate and the body will go back into shape. Tadaaaam !"
"Aaaah thank you, I'll do it immediately !
And so she kneels down and start blowing, and blowing, and blowing.
Of course nothing happens.
After 15 minutes another blond girl passes by.
"aaaah, it does not work, I really don't understand why..."
The other blond girl looks around and instantly see the issue.
She tells the other blond girl
"Of course it won't work, you silly !
"Why ?
"Your car windows are opened !"
The blond girl comes back and start whining around.
"Whaaaaat should I do, oh gosh, my car is broken and I don't know what do ... somebody help..."
A mischievous brat decides to have some fun with the silly girl.
He tells her
"I know how to repair you car !
"Reaaaally ? it would be so wonderful from you.
"My pleasure. Just blow into the exhaust pipe and, somewhat like a balloon, the car will inflate and the body will go back into shape. Tadaaaam !"
"Aaaah thank you, I'll do it immediately !
And so she kneels down and start blowing, and blowing, and blowing.
Of course nothing happens.
After 15 minutes another blond girl passes by.
"aaaah, it does not work, I really don't understand why..."
The other blond girl looks around and instantly see the issue.
She tells the other blond girl
"Of course it won't work, you silly !
"Why ?
"Your car windows are opened !"
- Joined
- 13 August 2007
- Messages
- 7,148
- Reaction score
- 6,519
The atrocities of Belgium Architecture: #8
THE GARAGE
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvGKxDlXgvQ
THE GARAGE
Reminds me of the infamous Régis and his caravane. You'd better never, ever let your caravane between the hands of a Régis. You've been warned. Twice.
Case 1
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6F0c7lk7fY4
Case 2
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2utfLBQQIyQ
(note: "Régis" like "Régis est un con" of Les Nuls fame)
View: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/xxsdpf
"Quel con ce Régis !"
Case 1
Case 2
(note: "Régis" like "Régis est un con" of Les Nuls fame)
"Quel con ce Régis !"
Very clever ! I was wondering "And how does the guy gets out of his car, with only 2 inch clearance ?"
Well, I got my answer: he has a door in the garage a) to open his car own door and b) to enter his house.
Not very practical, but well thought.
Of course it only works with a Fiat Panda. And perhaps with Mr Bean Austin Morris.
Fiats are known as "pot de yaourt" "Yoghurt pots" for a reason. Don't you try that with a Bentley or Rolls Royce LMAO.
Mind you, I have somewhat similar issue with my new rented home and my Grande Punto.
It features an "American garage" you know, of the lazy kind: just park your car inside, open the car boot, open the door leading inside the house, and drop the shopping bags.
Except the idiot architects designed the garage to the bare minimal dimensions... I can park my 3.85 m long Grande Punto inside, but only barely. Even the width is all wrong, with the car doors hitting the walls.
My neighbourghs SUV and Renault Megane just don't fit inside, so they use their garages as storage / dumping areas.
As for me, the G.P fit, but barely - the garage door wrecks the antenna at one end; and the car itself blocks the door to inside the house, if I don't park correctly.
And it's even worse when we add the wife and kid bikes on the sides.
I ended drawings lines on the side walls to open the car doors at the right place.
Basically they designed the garages for, what - a Peugeot 107 ? Fiat 500 ? Citroen C-1 ?
Which sounds pretty silly...
Last edited:
- Joined
- 16 December 2010
- Messages
- 2,837
- Reaction score
- 2,073
D
Deleted member 2278
Guest
If she can read to halfway through a Putnam supporting it with one finger, my advice is to not arm wrestle her! She does look like she just got to the Blackburn Blackburn page. You're never quite...whole again after that!
Brilliant. Just brilliant !
I did that once - when, as a student in a hall of residence on a campus, somebody stole my compotes in the common fridge.
After wishing the SOB Hell, I made a "booby trap" - an empty pot, put wet toilet paper inside (I should I've put some shit or wood pulp instead). I then sealed back the cover with high-strength glue.
And surely enough, the booby-trapped compote was stolen.
And I laughed my arse off in vengeance, like a James Bond supervillain.
Muhahahahahahahahahaha !!!!
Somebody must have had a nasty surprise
a) trying to open it (good luck with that - Loctite glue !)
and
b) finding what was inside.
Those were the days...
Last edited:
1944 – a veteran US Navy dive bomber pilot walks into a bar, and meets a French pilot there.
He remembers what happened next.
“I flew Vought V-156F dive bombers early in the war, for the Navy. A mostly forgotten aircraft nowadays, it wasn't a thoroughbred for sure, and suffered against the Axis powers, although not as much as the Douglas Devastor, which squadrons ended devastated, rather than the Japanese.
Whatever, we had a lot of fun with its name. Its official name was SB2U (Scout, Bomber, 2nd one from Vought) Vindicator, and when the British got some of them, it become Chesapeake, like the river and bay. Ok ?
And there the siliness began.
When you think about it, SB2U could have led to nicknames as bad as the Helldiver SB2C "Son of a bitch, second class".
Things like "Son of a bitch, to you" - but nobody ever thought about it; perhaps because the Vindicator, unlike the Helldiver, didn't tried to kill his pilots on top of the Japanese.
Whatever, it was so slow we American pilots called it wind indicator.
Then the British with their weird humor, turned Chesapeake into... Cheese cake.
Later in the war I learned from a French pilot they had flown that aircraft, too. Just like Lexington and Saratoga, the French had turned an unfinished battleship into a carrier: called Béarn, you know, from the region where they make the sauce béarnaise. It sounds so typically French calling an aircraft carrier after a food dish.
In May 1940 their Air Force unable to stop German tanks called the naval dive bombers to the rescue – three squadrons. They had to face the Luftwaffe and Flak, poor guys.
First squadron was crushed on the ground when their hangar was bombed on the first day of the war.
Second squadron flying out without fighter escort was jumped by Me-109s and wiped out.
Third squadron attacked a bridge and was wiped out by flak.
A terrible fate, but that pilot at least lived to tell his story and fought back along De Gaulle's Free French. I told him about the V-156F related jokes, and he had a good laugh.
Then I asked him if they had ever thought of a fun nickname for that poor dive bomber.
His answer was negative, but he added “il n'est jamais trop tard pour bien faire” - “It's never too late for a good deed.”
After a brief reflexion, he first told me that in France, “wind indicator” would translate as “biroute”; the French being the French, biroute thanks to its peculiar shape, had become slang for “penis”.
I erupted in laughter, but he told me it wasn't over yet. He wondered what Chesapeake meant, and I told him it was a river bay on the East coast. And of course, cheese cake, he was more familiar with, France being the land of cheese. So “gateau au fromage” it would be, he told me laughing his arse off.
As for the original Chesapeake, I noted the french pilot pronounced it in a peculiar way. And then he bursted in laughter and wrote on a napkin “Chaise à piques”, and I wondered what the hell did that mean.
His answer blew my mind and got beer spitting out of my nose.
It exactly translated as “chair with spikes”, something you don't really want to seat in.
My answer was that the Spanish Inquisition would have been proud.
At the end of the day, that Vought dive bomber would have had such varied nicknames as "Son of a bitch, to you" "wind indicator" "penis" "cheesecake" and "chair with spikes".
Talk about an unfortunate aircraft...
en.wikipedia.org
He remembers what happened next.
“I flew Vought V-156F dive bombers early in the war, for the Navy. A mostly forgotten aircraft nowadays, it wasn't a thoroughbred for sure, and suffered against the Axis powers, although not as much as the Douglas Devastor, which squadrons ended devastated, rather than the Japanese.
Whatever, we had a lot of fun with its name. Its official name was SB2U (Scout, Bomber, 2nd one from Vought) Vindicator, and when the British got some of them, it become Chesapeake, like the river and bay. Ok ?
And there the siliness began.
When you think about it, SB2U could have led to nicknames as bad as the Helldiver SB2C "Son of a bitch, second class".
Things like "Son of a bitch, to you" - but nobody ever thought about it; perhaps because the Vindicator, unlike the Helldiver, didn't tried to kill his pilots on top of the Japanese.
Whatever, it was so slow we American pilots called it wind indicator.
Then the British with their weird humor, turned Chesapeake into... Cheese cake.
Later in the war I learned from a French pilot they had flown that aircraft, too. Just like Lexington and Saratoga, the French had turned an unfinished battleship into a carrier: called Béarn, you know, from the region where they make the sauce béarnaise. It sounds so typically French calling an aircraft carrier after a food dish.
In May 1940 their Air Force unable to stop German tanks called the naval dive bombers to the rescue – three squadrons. They had to face the Luftwaffe and Flak, poor guys.
First squadron was crushed on the ground when their hangar was bombed on the first day of the war.
Second squadron flying out without fighter escort was jumped by Me-109s and wiped out.
Third squadron attacked a bridge and was wiped out by flak.
A terrible fate, but that pilot at least lived to tell his story and fought back along De Gaulle's Free French. I told him about the V-156F related jokes, and he had a good laugh.
Then I asked him if they had ever thought of a fun nickname for that poor dive bomber.
His answer was negative, but he added “il n'est jamais trop tard pour bien faire” - “It's never too late for a good deed.”
After a brief reflexion, he first told me that in France, “wind indicator” would translate as “biroute”; the French being the French, biroute thanks to its peculiar shape, had become slang for “penis”.
I erupted in laughter, but he told me it wasn't over yet. He wondered what Chesapeake meant, and I told him it was a river bay on the East coast. And of course, cheese cake, he was more familiar with, France being the land of cheese. So “gateau au fromage” it would be, he told me laughing his arse off.
As for the original Chesapeake, I noted the french pilot pronounced it in a peculiar way. And then he bursted in laughter and wrote on a napkin “Chaise à piques”, and I wondered what the hell did that mean.
His answer blew my mind and got beer spitting out of my nose.
It exactly translated as “chair with spikes”, something you don't really want to seat in.
My answer was that the Spanish Inquisition would have been proud.
At the end of the day, that Vought dive bomber would have had such varied nicknames as "Son of a bitch, to you" "wind indicator" "penis" "cheesecake" and "chair with spikes".
Talk about an unfortunate aircraft...
Vought SB2U Vindicator - Wikipedia
Last edited:
You need a brunette in between as a mediator and potential translator. Also, if its a convertible with the windows up, she can open the top by blowing into the exhaust pipe as well.
- Joined
- 13 August 2007
- Messages
- 7,148
- Reaction score
- 6,519
Rhinocrates
ACCESS: Top Secret
- Joined
- 26 September 2006
- Messages
- 2,112
- Reaction score
- 4,508
Worth it just for a reminder of a beloved TV series.
hushkit.net
Why Mr Mainwaring was a Brewster Buffalo, and other Dad’s Army characters matched to WW2 aeroplanes
One was the biggest catastrophe in human history and the other was a lovable British situational comedy from the 1960s, we are of course speaking of World War II and Dad’s Army. In this extre…
hushkit.net
- Joined
- 16 December 2010
- Messages
- 2,837
- Reaction score
- 2,073
- Joined
- 3 June 2011
- Messages
- 17,331
- Reaction score
- 9,058
"He died doing what he loved, trying to touch unwilling minors." Apparently he'd just been let out of prison that morning.
- Joined
- 13 August 2007
- Messages
- 7,148
- Reaction score
- 6,519
Eric Zemmour uncanny resemblance with Montgomery Burns... the inside as much as the outside.
Also: Gargamel https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gargamel
And Gollum.
Also: Gargamel https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gargamel
And Gollum.
Attachments
- Joined
- 13 August 2007
- Messages
- 7,148
- Reaction score
- 6,519
- Joined
- 13 August 2007
- Messages
- 7,148
- Reaction score
- 6,519
For those who not know this Eric Zemmour
He is worst analog to a french Adolf Hitler
He is origin jewish, but a force antisemitic, a holocaust deniers !
And hates Africans, Moslems, Homosexual, Feminism etc...
He dived France in two: the "Pure blood" one and "the Others" France has to get rid off...
And he going as far Right candidate for 2022 election for French president
he insulted another candidate Joachim Son-Forget who responded with this Picture:
"I'm ready to face Zemmour" (Son-Forget is French with south Korea origin)
Last edited:
It's a bit more subtle than that, but Michel is essentially correct. The guy is on the right of the Le Pen family - which says something. A Viktor Orban fan, too.
The kind of man shamelessly using the 2012-2016 terror attacks that left 300 people dead, to back his own "great replacement" theories. Also Vichy France & Pétain groupie. A complete nutjob, yet so far head to head with Marine Le Pen (17% of the vote) to access second round against Macron (24% so far) in the next presidential election in May 2022.
On November 13, exactly six years after the Bataclan attacks that left 90 people dead, he stood in front of that very place and happily poured shit on past President Hollande, as proof his apocalyptic right wing nutcase theories were correct (incoming civil war, blah blah blah, the usual right wing paranoid horseshit).
We will stop there, because it isn't funny anymore... I just needed to vent...
The kind of man shamelessly using the 2012-2016 terror attacks that left 300 people dead, to back his own "great replacement" theories. Also Vichy France & Pétain groupie. A complete nutjob, yet so far head to head with Marine Le Pen (17% of the vote) to access second round against Macron (24% so far) in the next presidential election in May 2022.
On November 13, exactly six years after the Bataclan attacks that left 90 people dead, he stood in front of that very place and happily poured shit on past President Hollande, as proof his apocalyptic right wing nutcase theories were correct (incoming civil war, blah blah blah, the usual right wing paranoid horseshit).
We will stop there, because it isn't funny anymore... I just needed to vent...
tequilashooter
ACCESS: Top Secret
- Joined
- 1 January 2021
- Messages
- 699
- Reaction score
- 874
I have no dog in this political fight, not knowing who any of these people are. But in the US, if a political candidate responded to another with a photo of said candidate holding a firearm and implying that said firearm was going to be used to respond to the other... the media would be *all* over him. The guy with the gun would be accused of being a far right wing gun nut, of issuing death and terroristic threats, of being ineligible for office.
tequilashooter
ACCESS: Top Secret
- Joined
- 1 January 2021
- Messages
- 699
- Reaction score
- 874
That is very rare, anyone that is jewish in the U.S. is likely left wing anyone that is jewish in Israel is likely right wing.
tequilashooter
ACCESS: Top Secret
- Joined
- 1 January 2021
- Messages
- 699
- Reaction score
- 874
Last edited:
- Status
